Yes, I'm the new girl. The new girl to blogging and to Lexington, KY. I've had a bit of new-girl syndrome since moving here in April of this year. I'm sure you're familiar, the girl wondering around the grocery store trying to find the juice boxes while attempting to keep a smile on her face. You never know what prospective friend you might run into at the grocery store, right? God forbid she see me trying to keep my kids wrangled in the cart or dropping a can of green beans on my toe. Yup, that's me- The New Girl.
Exploring this new city has been fun. Lex is rated #5 on Parenting Magazine's 2010 list of best cities for families. People have seemed genuinely welcoming here as well. While I am enjoying the thrill of experiencing new places and new people, I must admit the mommy guilt along with an enormous case of homesickness has taken over my very being.
Mommy guilt has been a regular in my flash cards of life since the day I gave birth to my oldest, Dominick. It's in the same stack with the grass is greener card and the I should be a better (insert noun here) cards. Mommy guilt seems to be popping up a lot more lately. I feel guilty for having 3/4 of their toys in storage while we house-hunt. I feel guilty for tearing them away from their friends and insisting they make new. I feel guilty for being a ball of emotion in front of them. The list goes on and on....
Homesickness is a new one for me. Sure, I've had the occasional pangs when I was away at camp as a kid or on a long trip. This case has got to be one for the record books people. I've never lived anywhere but OH. I've never lived more than an hour's drive from those I love most. I somehow expected these homesick feelings to be coming from my kids and not from me. Silly new girl. I'm the one having the crying outbursts, temper tantrums and retail therapy sessions. I won't even go into how all this homesickness nonsense plays into the mommy guilt.....
The new-girl syndrome has got to go. I will no longer attempt to push the box of Hamburger Helper to the bottom of the cart or hide the fact that I'm bribing my newly potty trained daughter not to pee her pants while we shop at Kohls. I am who I am, and I can only do what I can do. I am a mommy with guilt but also a mommy with an endless amount of love to give. I can do this homesickness while continuing to adjust to this new place. So prospective friends, I may not be smiling the second we meet, but know I've got a friendship flashcard in my stack just for you....that is, if you can get past the crying outbursts and temper tantrums of course.
